Depression does overwhelm the spirit; and the afflicted feel like there is no way out, no where to go. I cannot speak for other people, but my heart was appalled within me. I suffered actual physical pain at times; and even though I had no apparent physical heart problems, I actually felt like I was being stabbed in the heart sometimes. The three things I had going for me were God, my family, and my friends. Whether or not I could feel love: I knew love. And for those who have never been clinically depressed, I want to explain that depression colors everything in dark grays. Even though one may be aware of being cared for, the hurt inside makes it very difficult to feel and respond as a well person would. I know for a fact it was God's spirit that reminded me when I wanted permanently out of everything, that I had to hold on for a while longer.
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Courtesy of [James Barker] www.freedigitalphotos.net/ |
I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all Your doings;
I muse on the work of Your hands.
I stretch out my hands to You;
My soul longs for You, as a parched land.
Answer me quickly, O Lord, my spirit fails;
Do not hide Your face from me... Psalm 143: 5-7a (NASB)
I wanted to bold-face this entire section, because this is exactly how I felt.
I leave you with this: God does care. 1 John 4:4 states: You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.
This is one of many verses that sustained me in my dark periods. I thank God for His great Grace and Mercy. He is good, and He is good all the time.
Prayer: Father, I thank you for sustaining us in the dark times, for carrying us through the periods of our lives that threaten to crush our spirits forever. It is by your Grace, the human connections you give us, your memorized Word, your written Word, your songs and the memories of how you have touched our lives that help us to heal. There is also the hope we have, that one day there will be no more tears. Oh how we all long for that day, no matter what our present condition is. Father, you are worthy of all praise. In the precious name of Your Son, Amen.
P.S. I would like elucidate further on the words: remember, meditate, muse, and stretch; unless, you comment and say you totally get it. I am thinking I should share some of the application of those words, as they helped me to heal and brought me moments of respite.
“Scripture quotations taken from the NASB."
www.lockman.org
Bless your heart, hon. I've suffered with depression on and off since I was a child and the "knowing" of God is when my life started to change as well. Now I still have the episodes, but I know I am not alone and it will end one day, thank God. Lovely posting!
ReplyDeleteI think another way to describe depression would be that life has become overwhelming. There comes a point that the body cannot take anymore stresses. It took time to heal, and I am blessed that I had people in my life that were patient with me. One of the best things that happened to me was getting treatment for my thyroid, for Fibromyalgia, and for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Not only did I have answers for why I always had post-exertional malaise; my hormones were so out of whack. It wasn't just my brain. The first thing I noticed getting better after I began treatment was the depression was gone. Hallelujah! Like you, I have had deal with some episodes, but none as bad or lengthy as before.
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