Free from Doubt

There have been times during my illness, that I have begun to doubt important things I know about myself. The most crucial aspect of my life I doubted was my relationship to God;  and this is something I thought I would never doubt.  However, I felt guilty because I wasn't doing the activities that I felt were part of my spiritual service, and even though, I knew my fellowship with the Lord did not depend on activity, I struggled with being too sick to attend church, teach, or sing in the choir.  Your activities may be different.  Perhaps, you have been a volunteer in your community, and you felt like that was your service.  It is hard to give it up.  

I lacked discipline in studying God's word, my prayer life suffered--so it seemed to me.  I couldn't concentrate, and I watched too much television.  I had more time than ever on my hands  to spend time with God, but that was sporadic at best.  I never seemed to be able to finish a Christian book.  I even thought I was a failure as a Christian -- you see, I felt like a failure, because I couldn't get well;  and,  that  is just stinkin' thinkin', as my husband would say.


One of the verses that I have had to read over and over again is Romans 8:35:  Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  (NASB).   I  have been reminded that illness does not separate me from God or His love.  In Romans 8:38-39, I am told that ...that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Absolutely, nothing can separate me or you from God's love if we are in Christ Jesus.